


Youre not alone (is better than I love you)

by malfoygrass (escailyy)



Series: Malfoygrass Tumblr Drabbles [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, Ways To Say I Love You, how Draco fell for Astoria, written in 2015
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2020-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:42:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27950024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/escailyy/pseuds/malfoygrass
Summary: Draco and Astoria find each other slowly, while Astoria insists that Draco isn't alone.
Relationships: Astoria Greengrass/Draco Malfoy
Series: Malfoygrass Tumblr Drabbles [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2046875
Kudos: 8





	Youre not alone (is better than I love you)

**Author's Note:**

> another drabble written in 2015, enjoy

some couples have “I love you’s” some couples have “I would die for you’s” and some couples have “forever you and me’s”.

Draco and Astoria have a “you are not alone’s”. 

It’s not much, most people don’t understand it but it’s their thing, three words spoken in a graveyard a long time ago, a sullen boy in a dark robe and a lost little girl crying for her dead best friend “you are not alone” he’d said offhandedly “did you think nobody would notice if you went missing?” he’d barked annoyed, rolling his eyes, but she had understood, despite being nine and only a midget compared to him, she knew he was being nice by not capitalizing on her suffering. He’d taken her hand then and led her back to her older sister and parents, not mocking her or taunting her for a behavior that was openly considered a disgrace in etiquette during someone else’s funeral. 

She said it back to him years later, the first time she saw the dark mark on his arm “you are not alone” she’d said just like he’d done that day in the graveyard, taking his hand, leading him away from the door to Snape’s office, her warm blue eyes never leaving his, young Astoria Greengrass, who saw the sadness in his soul as clearly as she could see her sister’s “it’s okay” she said looking at his arm “it’s okay Malfoy, you are not alone” _look around_ she’d tried to say _we are all part of this war, we all suffer “_ you are not the only one afraid to die” 

it was a small thing, wise words offered from the younger sister of a classmate he barely acknowledged but it became the foundation of their entire relationship, sixth year, he was doomed, he had the dark mark for Merlin’s sake, but he still looked for her, because Draco Malfoy had never been the type to be selfless and she’d been the only Slytherin in his whole year, that had dared to look at him in the face for a long time.

So he found her, brown hair, blue eyes, two years younger than him, hiding in the shadows of the dungeons and lurking in the corners of the transfiguration classroom and cornered her, while she just stared up at him with the empty eyes of a girl that’s both frightened of herself and the world. 

She was broken, even if she didn’t look like it, he could see it when she tried to smile and ask him what was wrong, she was bereft of friends, confused and terrified. Say what you want to about her smiles, beauty, grace, and skills in conjuration, but she was broken, so beautifully broken that Draco might have fallen in love with her just for that. 

He found her and she smiled, so in an unusual show of empathy he sat in the dark corner with her and said “you are not alone either” and he watched Daphne’s pretty little sister cry and he let himself cry with her. 

it went downhill from there.

A broomstick flight on its way to crash, a quidditch game he knew he would eventually lose, he last vestiges of light in the sky destined to be crushed by the darkest of nights. it was such a sad tragic love story he hopes one day someone would write it for them, the tale of the doomed boy and the broken girl. the dragon and the star. So he sat next to her in her darkened corners and learned to hide behind curtains “you are not alone” became their I love you’s. 

She never told him why she felt so worthless and scared, he alone guessed it had to do with the horror stories Daphne and her parents kept putting in her head since childhood to keep her subservient, only now all the horror stories where coming true and for a girl that had been sheltered all her life, those days in Hogwarts proved to be terrifying.

And he never told her what was it that the dark lord tasked him to do before the year was over, but neither could he stop her from hearing the rumors from his death eater friends in Slytherin. Nevertheless, even when she knew it was wrong, Astoria never stopped pulling him into dark corners and secret hiding places to say those four words. He kissed her on one of those and she kissed back with all the passion she had, urgency too, because while Draco hadn’t told her anything about his plans, or about Voldemort even she knew that their time was running out.

Until finally, the day came, the day when he pulled her into his arms and told her to run “you said your father gave you a portkey for emergencies, tomorrow, I need you to activate it tomorrow do you hear me” he whispered in between urgent kisses shaking her bony frame almost forcefully “I need you to be out of this bloody castle before this whole thing explodes, I want…no, I need…to be selfish when it comes to you”

“but what about my sister? what about everyone else? Draco I don’t want to leave them…or you” Astoria cried with widened eyes 

“Daphne can take care of herself and if the others didn’t have the good sense to run it means they picked a side already, now don’t be a stupid Griffindoor Astoria, don’t you dare stay for me, he will make me kill you with my own wand” 

“run with me then!!, we could go to India, or Australia, I know people in the Asian Ministry, we could go to Shangri La, anywhere safe, just you and me Draco”

“even if I could, Voldemort would kill my parents for my deflection, and I can’t give up on them any more than I can give up on you, I’ve never begged anyone for anything in my life, but this time I am begging you, let me have the peace of mind that comes with knowing that at least you will be safe” 

“oh Draco, we never had a chance did we?” she sobbed on his shoulder “promise me you’ll survive, promise that no matter what Voldemort makes you do, you’ll survive, I will only agree to run if you tell me that”

“I promise Astoria, I’ll be fine, I will do what needs to be done”

She slept in the room of lost things that night, tangled up in a blanket after crying herself to sleep in his arms. And when the morning dawned they kissed one last time “you are not alone” they whispered to each other over and over again, before he pushed her away and told her to get out of Hogwarts before noon.

She escaped exactly one hour before hell broke loose in Hogwarts, portkeyed to Gringotts of all places (her father never was the most creative man). but Astoria didn’t even wait until her stomach settled in before taking out half of her inheritance and booking a floo to China, she leaves a letter for her sister, one for her father, and a small enchanted note for Draco. but in the end that is all she ever does before effectively proceeding to disappear from the face of the earth. 

Of course, her father soon joins her in Beijing a month later, after successfully tracking down the Chinese diplomat she bribed into being the secret keeper of her new home, commending her on her very Slytherin thinking and saluting her cunning and foresight. Her father doesn’t mention Draco, he doesn’t mention death eaters, he doesn’t even mention Daphne or home not even a word about her ma… it's then that Astoria learns that her mother is dead and that for all his bravado, her father is scared of the war too.

She eventually finds the guts to fight, it takes time and even more bribing, but as the summer turns to winter Astoria manages to singlehandedly contact her sister, and with Daphne in the safehouse, Astoria finally gets news of Draco.

A year later. to days after Voldemort’s defeat, someone puts a dainty hand on Draco’s shoulder “ you are not alone you know” she whispers after all this time “did you think nobody would notice if you went missing from the victory celebrations?” And there she is, looking as radiant as ever, skinny, broken, brown-haired Astoria, two years younger than him and still wise beyond her age.

“Astoria?!!” he gasps surprised, getting up and clutching her in his arms, spinning her in the air because he really did think she was dead “you are alive”

“And so are you,” She said nodding with a tear in her eyes “I was so scared, I thought Voldemort…when Daphne told me what you did to Dumbledore, Draco why did you make me run!!! I would have fought too”

“No! No Astoria listen to me, you are alive because you ran, the only thing that gave me comfort at night whenever the dark lord tortured me was the fact your name wasn't listed on the list of pureblood deaths”

“I thought I’d never see you again...I thought I’d be alone”

“you are not alone…we are not alone, shhh princess it’s all over now”

So for Draco and Astoria those four words meant more than any I Love you’s, they meant strength, resilience, tears, and hope, because knowing that you don’t have to be alone, knowing you are loved and that your love will never leave your side, well that’s worth more than any “I would die for you’s” 


End file.
